A Lesbian-Hating Terrorist Named Sven.

The Lesbians arrived at the home of La Tantesse.

"Svens," La Tantesse said, "get my bags from the car. And bring my dog, Potato, to the garden."

"Actually," one of the Svens said, "my name is Helga."
"And my name is Helgai," said the other Sven.

For the seven years La Tantesse knew the fashion-conscious men who drove her Jaguar and carried her bags, she had called them the Svens. They had introduced themselves as Sven and SvenEricc. She knew they had.

"We were forced to tell everyone that our names are Sven and SvenEricc," the taller man said. "As members of government protection, we were told to choose names that were both intimidating and completely separate from our own identities. So, we chose the name 'Sven,' after Sven Baldwin, the scariest man alive."

Upon hearing the name "Sven Baldwin," the Lesbians gasped. Sven Baldwin is the world's most notorious lesbian-hating terrorist. His lesbian-hating followers were responsible for putting the bomb in the lesbian panda and for, subsequently, creating chaos in the love lives of Nancy and Addidas.

As the Helgas carried La Tantesse's bags and brought Potato to the garden, La Tantesse organized an impromptu ILSM meeting.

"Lesbians," she said, "the Helguys' confession reminds us of two important lessons. First, we mustn't trust any man, even if he dresses well and has beautifully chiseled jaw lines. Second, we must focus our attention on fighting Sven Baldwin.

Sven is the enemy."