Enter Q.

Grim silence fell over the post-orgy gathering. Without Bambi and her sushi, the ILSMs would soon lose their crime-fighting powers. It was only a matter of time before, weakened by their cocaine-laced partying, they would fall vulnerable to Sven's attack.

They needed sushi. Bambi's sushi. And they needed it now.

"But where could Mordo have taken her?" SAAM cried out. SAAM knew that her primary concern should be the crime-fighting prowess of her friends, and yet, she felt a special pang in the area below her ripped abs where fatter people have stomachs -- it was a pang of fear for Bambi's well-being. Innocent little Bambi was in the clutches of evil lesbian-hating forces, alone and unprotected by the ILSMs. The lesbians were the only ones who could save her now. But how?

"To learn of their secret undisclosed location we must infiltrate Sven's lair." La Tantesse clenched her stained teeth as she spoke, showing the black gums of despair that lay underneath.

"But Sven would never let a lesbian into his home!" Nancy protested.

"Lesbians," La Tantesse looked sadly down at her girls, unsure of the dangers that sexily awaited them, "the mystery of the curiously disappeared sushi chef shall be a great and terrible mission. Perhaps the most dangerous mission of all. And time is of the essence."

Hm, Nancy thought. So this is the Case of the Curious Sushi that I have been fighting, the one that led me to Lyon and to the ferris wheel of death. Good to know.

La Tantesse turned to Addidas and continued, "you alone, my darling, can save us. You alone have the training and strength in our hour of need." Addidas nodded.

"Nancy: go get Q," commanded La Tantesse grimly.

At that moment, all of the ILSMs cringed. Only Addidas stood strong, boldly staring into the eyes of destiny. Nancy was impressed.

Q sadly entered the lush foyer of the room which, mere hours ago, was littered with Santa lingerie and cocaine. Now, a dim pall hung over La Tantesse's manor. Q looked gravely at Addidas' Armani pre-release, sent to her by Georgio personally that week. Her Salvatore Ferragamo heels shone in the lamplight. "I'm sorry, Addidas," Q said quietly, "but for this mission, you must become...straight."

Lesbians everywhere gasped. Nancy turned her head, unable to bear the glint of raw pain in Addidas' eyes.

Only Q possessed the dangerous genius of understanding straight girls. Her cold, calculating mind could compile straight-girl outfits almost as quickly as La Tantesse could lace up a new pair of Doc Marten's. "We must go to J Crew. And...Polo Ralph Lauren."

Addidas grimaced. "But please, Q. Isn't there anywhere else we could possibly go? Hermes?" She negotiated.

"No, my darling. I'm sorry, but straight girls can't afford couture. And they only shop at two places. Two places so terrible they are rarely named in this holy space."

The lesbians were confused. Who on this earth PAID for couture? Didn't they just get it hand-delivered by designers begging for them to wear it? Weird.

The Helgays appeared at the door. The car was ready to take Q and Addidas to the mall, where they alone would face the danger of associating with people eating Dip-and-Dots while wearing sweatpants. In public.