An ILSM in a polo shirt.

Addidas stood in the J Crew dressing room, unable to face her own image. She knew she was doing the right thing, and that this ultimate sacrifice was necessary for the sisterhood. She understood the gravity of her mission. And yet she was afraid.

Q had chosen wisely. Addidas was wearing generic khaki capri pants, ill-fitting in a massive size 0. To enhance a straight-girl figure, Q insisted that Addidas wear tights under the capris. Addidas never wore tights. Her legs were too perfectly sculpted and hairless for tights. Tights only hid the perfect tan glow of her natural skin. But, for this mission, that's exactly what needed to be done.

Unfortunately for Addidas, the capris were the best part of her outfit. Q insisted that Addidas wear a plain white polo underneath a long, violet-colored cardigan. No one looks good in violet. The polo was completely buttoned, mutilating her svelt bosom. The cardigan hugged Addidas' thighs, making them appear as if, perhaps, a size 0 was actually appropriate. The cardigan hid Addidas' luscious bidonkadonk, her tightest asset. She looked...Protestant.

But then came the worst. The shoes. Addidas hesitated before taking a step out of the dressing room, for how was one to walk in such monstrosities? These were the dumbest fucking things Addidas had ever seen. Unthinkably, they made even her legs look bad.

It had been since Addidas was a child that she had walked in flats. For over a decade, even her bedroom slippers had been platformed Versaci. Made the lingerie look better. But La Tantesse was wise, and knew that only Addidas had the proper training for walking in these bizarre contraptions. Addidas was the first ILSM to have graduated from La Tantesse's school for the gay arts, and this curriculum included extensive physical fitness training. Addidas could suffer any discomfort, even the bizarre feeling of her heel on the ground.

Addidas and Q quickly went back to their car, where the Helgays waited. Addidas hid her face with a tacky imitation of a polo hat, partly in shame and partly to block the view of all the identical outfits that surrounded her. During the car ride back to La Tantesse's manor, Addidas worried about Nancy and whether any feelings Nancy may have once felt for Addidas would be once and for all crushed by Addidas' new, terrible, attire. She had never been so ashamed in her life. But she knew her duty, her ultimate purpose, was to protect La Tantesse and her fellow ILSMs, no matter what the personal cost. Dulci et decorum est pro patria mori.